


Grey

by danielleargent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danielleargent/pseuds/danielleargent
Summary: In which a mercenary gets hired by a figure of her past to pull an old friend to the light.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Poe Dameron/Finn
Kudos: 5





	1. The Past Comes Back Swinging

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work on here and I am a big ol' fan of original characters because it changes the course of the entire story. I'll be stealing some elements and plotlines from the Last Jedi and the Rise of Skywalker but we'll see how this turns out.

Force, how she despised the cold and by extension, this planet. But she had a mission to do. Snowflakes began to accumulate on her clothes and her hair, the pieces that weren’t covered by her hood. The skies were gloomy and almost foreboding that life wouldn’t be getting better any time soon.

_Tipsy Horse_

There it was. She placed her hand on the weapon on her belt, the weapon that set her apart from everyone else. The one that was a reflection of her past. She opened the door of the bar to see alien species and humans alike mingling and even starting fights. She pulled down her hood and ignited the lightsaber in her hand. Its hum and a sudden burst of purple light caused a hush to fall over the crowd.

“Hello everyone, I’m Rhepa and I’m looking for Isadeon Cadlfla. Point me in his direction and no one will get hurt.”

Hushed whispers of horror and fear vibrated throughout the bar at her introduction. No one wanted to speak, to be the sell-out of the poor man who was being hunted by the infamous mercenary nor did anyone wish to make her angry.

“Mercy, Rhepa,” The bartender pleaded loudly, nervously. “He’s in the back.”

Rhepa twirled her lightsaber warningly as she marched to the back room and kicked out the door. She recognized Isadeon from the picture she’d been given to hunt him down and by the Force, did he recognize her from her infamy.

Rhepa’s attire was almost reminiscent of a Sith in entirely black clothing with black face paint. While she usually wielded a lightsaber, that didn’t mean she was stupid enough to rely on a single weapon. She always kept a blaster on her belt, it resting against her left hip.

The relaxed atmosphere of the room faded. The gambling and laughs ceased, hands reaching to defend themselves. But then, Isadeon got out of his chair, tripping as his leg got caught. The other gamblers lost their defensiveness immediately and pretended not to notice the interaction in the room.

“Please, mercy! I can pay you!”

Rhepa looked at him with pity.

“Why do people think I do this for money?” Rhepa muttered under her breath, pointing her lightsaber at him. Isadeon raised his hands in worried surrender and Rhepa grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

As Rhepa dragged him out of the room, his former friends grabbed at the money he’d left on the table, paying no mind to their doomed friend. The bar went silent again. Rhepa pulled her hood back up before shoving Isadeon out the door. With her lightsaber still ignited, she persuaded him in a not-so-gentle way back to her ship.  
They boarded and she handcuffed him to the bridge.

“Please, drop me off somewhere. I can’t go back.”

“Typically, when you break the law, you go to prison,” Rhepa remarked, flipping switches to get her ship running. It started up with a cheerful rumble, albeit just a tad creaky. “And when you break out, you go back to prison, a lot longer this time.”

“You’re a monster.”

“Get a mirror."

* * *

“Two shots, Kat,” Rhepa murmured in exhaustion, using her fingers to deliver her message further. The bartender tucked a strand of her vibrant orange-red hair behind her ear as she moved over to Rhepa. Two shot glasses were placed in front of the tired hunter and filled to the brim with her alcohol of choice.

“Rough week?”

“I’ve been worse, so I consider myself doing well,” Rhepa answered with a soft smile. She was quick to take the first shot, closely followed by the second. The unease that had been tensing up her joints melted away.

“Rhe. You can be honest with me,” Kat pointed out as she cleaned some of her counter behind the bar. The mercenary began to undo her braid, carefully combing out the waves with her fingers.

“I am. I’m doing better than most of the time.”

“You say that every time I see you.”

“And every time, it’s true.” Rhepa touched some of the black paint on her face, looking at it on her fingertips. A damp cloth was pushed into her hand by Kat, who knew her too well. Rhepa wiped the paint off of her lips first, then working on the rest of her face. “Enough about me, Kat, how’s Selena?”

“I can’t believe she’s my child. She’s top of her class, they’re talking about changing her studies to something more advanced because her normal school isn’t challenging enough.” Kat’s face lit up proudly and her fast-paced cleaning slowed down.

“Of course she is.”

“And…I think she’s interested in someone.”

“Well, I think Auntie Rhe needs to warn her that teenage boys are stupid.”

“I didn’t say it was a boy.”

“Oh!” Rhepa paused, not expecting to learn information of that sort on this fine day. “Good for her.”

“But what would Auntie Rhe warn her about if it was a boy?”

Rhepa sighed, leaning on the bar in defeat. Kat poured another shot for her which Rhe had to take to tell a story from her past, something that she wasn’t overly fond of talking about.

“I liked a guy, even kissed him in a stupid game and it never worked out because we had very different…ambitions and ideas for our futures.”  
“That was the abridged version?”

“I’m not drunk enough for the full story, Kat.”

The soft hum of chatter in the (mostly) civilized bar was interrupted by a shattering of glass. The broken glass catapulted Rhepa into an almost memory. It was an “almost memory” because she couldn’t pinpoint what it was, the memory was too faded. But she remembered the feeling. How her heart raced, how her palms sweat, how her vision went in and out of focus. She had to breathe.

Once outside the building, she slipped into the alleyway and leaned against the brick, breathing heavily. Her hand pressed against the left side of her chest, feeling the pounding and trying to will it to peace. To be still.

I am one with the Force. The Force will protect me and keep me safe. I have to trust it.

Rhepa practiced methods that she’d learned when meditating with the Force. Methods that lowered her heart rate and elevated her focus. She could breathe now.  
If it had been two years ago, she would've taken shot after shot until she was in danger of blacking out completely. It wasn’t though, so she said goodbye to Kat and went back to her ship. Her ship was safe.

Now, she couldn’t sleep. She sat on the floor of her ship and practiced her meditation, to strengthen her Force connection. Somehow, between the drinks and meditation, she drifted off and fell asleep.

* * *

Sunlight streamed through the windows of her ship and she woke up with a jolt. She pushed away the previous night as a distant memory as she always did when dealing with issues of her emotional wellbeing. Rhepa had to get off the planet, get away from her flashes of nightmares. She hoped for a transmission, a new criminal to focus on.

As she flew aimlessly through space, her wishes were achieved. She got a transmission, with an offer and coordinates, to which she jumped at the chance. But first, she’d have to get ready. She set her ship to autopilot to do her makeup and dress in her intimating hunter attire.

Rhepa landed a distance from the specific coordinates because she needed to have some control over these jobs. She headed over to the coordinates but paused aways from it, hiding in the tree line.

A Resistance base. Why would they need me?

Her intrigue overcame any doubt that she may have had. She entered the resistance base and for once, her presence didn’t terrify as it normally did. Resistance fighters pointed blasters at her.

“Identify yourself!”

“I’m Rhepa. I got a transmission today offering me a job with these coordinates.” In her hand, she held the device that held the inputted coordinates.

“Stand down!” A strong feminine voice ordered, stepping through the crowd. Rhepa felt her mouth open in shock. “I said stand down!”

General Leia Organa dismissed the resistance fighters, studying Rhepa carefully.

“Am I right in saying Jayda Sarrak?”

“Not anymore but if that is what you wish to call me, I don’t mind,” Rhepa said to the General, bowing her head respectfully. “But I’m guessing this isn’t really a job.”

“Not in the way you’re used to. But I hope that you’ll stay and talk to me. Maybe some tea.”

“Of course, Leia.” As they walked to enter the base, Leia put a gentle arm around Rhepa. Leia brought her to something of a lounge in the base. She started boiling a kettle for tea. The mercenary reluctantly sat down, feeling out of place there. Rhepa was silent as she watched Leia make two cups of tea before coming to sit across from her.

“May I ask why you called me here?” Rhepa had to get to the point, hoping to dissuade her discomfort. Leia sipped tea first before beginning.

“Kylo Ren. You must go to him.”

Chills down Rhepa’s spine, hearing the new name of an old friend. Her grip on her teacup tightened and her breath was uneven.

“Leia, I can’t.”

“He’s conflicted, Jayda. I feel it in the Force every day.”

“And what can I do? I haven’t seen him since I was sixteen.”

“He’s being pulled back to the light. You were his best friend and I think you can pull him back entirely.”

“Leia, you know I would do anything for your family…but that’s a lot to ask. I can’t pretend I don’t know what he’s done.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to give him a chance.”

Rhepa looked down at her hands. She could just walk away and pretend this never happened. She began to crack her knuckles gently in her contemplation. But with all Leia and Han had done for her…she couldn’t just leave. Not now.

“How do I find him?”


	2. Jayda Sarrak and Ben Solo

Leia had been kind enough to give her a room for the night and a change of clothes as her current attire was out of place in the resistance base. She stood in front of the room’s mirror, holding a damp rag in her hand. She removed her paint again and pulled her hair down. She changed out of her bounty uniform and into the dark pants and loose grey shirt.

But she couldn’t bring herself to sleep. She tied up her cloak, leaving her hood down and affixed her lightsaber to her belt. She walked through the quiet base, passing guards with no problem. Finally, she found her way outside. She smoothly climbed on top of one of the buildings, studying the starry sky quietly.

“Are you the one that Leia brought here?” A voice called to her but still trying to be quiet. Rhepa glanced over the edge of the low building at a rather handsome man with dark curls. She jumped off the building, landing on the ground with the help of the Force.

“Rhe-Jayda. Jayda Sarrak.” She held out her hand with a soft smile. It felt strange, saying her own name again. Her real name.

“Poe Dameron,” The stranger responded, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. “What are you doing out here this late at night?”

“It’s pretty on this planet, lots of stars, clear skies.” She studied the skies again, just for a moment, so she could step into an old memory. The old memory in question was not singular but rather many nights under the stars, stacked on top of one another. The only thing missing was the person that she shared most of the memories with.

“So taking in the view?”

“I could use company,” Jayda told him with a small smile. “That is…if you’re not afraid of heights?”

Poe followed her gaze to the roof that she’d jumped off of to greet him.

“You’re on.”

It was a mad competition of climbing to see who could get on the roof first. They settled there together, a degree of distance between them. Stargazing turned out to be an activity that he also enjoyed. There was silence for minutes before Poe asked the question that the entire base had been thinking,

“Can I ask why Leia thinks you’ll be able to turn Kylo Ren?”

Jayda knew the question was coming but nevertheless, she wasn’t entirely prepared for it. The Force whispered reassurances to her. This stranger, this man was certainly worthy of learning about her and Kylo Ren’s past.

“We were at Master Skywalker’s Jedi Academy together. Two years in and we were inseparable best friends. I know things about him that no one else does, so I guess that’s what Leia was counting on.”

Jayda leaned back, getting a little bit more comfortable on the rooftop. The sound of creaking commenced when Poe shifted in his position, leaning against one of his hands.

“Good luck with that. The things I’ve seen of Ren, he seems pretty damn set in his ways.”

“You seem pretty set in yours,” Jayda pointed out wisely, listening to the additional intuition that the Force offered her. A scoff came from Poe as he glanced sideways in her direction.

“What does that mean?”

“The Force tells me things, Dameron, and I’m getting the feeling you’re incredibly stubborn.”

“The Force tells you things?” Poe repeated, not shy of the skepticism in his voice. Jayda laughed, him not being the first person in her life to react like that.

“Yes it does and currently, it’s telling me that you’re a stubborn ass.”

“Is this how you make new friends? Insult them?”

“It’s worked for me so far. Do you normally sit on rooftops with strangers who have shady pasts?”

“This is the Resistance. Shady pasts come in dozens,” Poe paused thoughtfully, his face lighting up in a smile. “My best friend is a former stormtrooper.”

“Not that shady. Stormtroopers are unwitting pawns, forced to play a game that they never volunteered for. Your friend’s a badass.”

“Don’t tell him that. He’ll get a big head and just…be annoying.”

“I’d love to meet your annoying stormtrooper before I leave tomorrow afternoon.”

“He’s not…he’s not mine.” Poe muttered under his breath.

“Right, sorry.”

* * *

Leia had given Jayda full access to equipment so she could track Kylo Ren in some way. The task in itself wouldn’t be easy but Jayda was one of the best hunters in the galaxy. If she couldn’t do it, no one could. So she sat down at a computer and sold her soul to it. She did everything she could to track down Kylo. When the Resistance’s resources couldn’t go the distance, she went to her last resort.

She quietly dismissed herself to go on her ships to face the small box of her personal possessions. Shaking hands moved and shifted the possessions in the box before she found a slightly yellowed envelope with her name in neat print.

She clutched it to her chest, jogging back into the Resistance base. She sat down at her computer in the corner, placing the envelope on the table.

**Jayda**

She flipped it over to take the letter out. She hadn’t looked at the letter in quite some time and yet it was a most prized possession.

**I didn’t set the temple on fire. I swear it. But Uncle Luke sees the darkness in me, I might as well surrender to it. I have a teacher. A teacher who would teach you if you came. Please meet me on Cibar in two days time. I don’t know if I can do this without you.**

**Ben**

So with hesitation, she typed the planet into the computer and discovered a profile on it. The planet was predominantly her favourite type of weather with two bright suns but generally cooler atmospheres and there were forests, so many forests. Barely inhabited but the species that did were entirely pacifistic creatures.

“Jayda, have you made progress?”

“I’m sorry, Leia. Just a futile hope, I’m afraid.” Jayda handed the letter over to Leia. The letter that she’d never shown anyone. “Once, Ben asked me to meet him on Cibar. I’m thinking if I send out a general but coded transmission, he might meet me there.”

“How long have you had this?”

“Almost twelve years…” Jayda trailed off a moment, anxious at Leia’s reaction. Before she could jump back in to explain, Leia pressed the letter back into her hand.

“You didn’t tell us?”

“I didn’t know _what_ to do, Leia. I didn’t sleep for days and then I just…didn’t go. I didn’t…want to betray him by saying anything but that seems stupid now because weeks later, he became Kylo Ren. I’m sorry, we could’ve saved him.” Jayda’s voice broke partway through before she spoke her last regret. “If I’d said something, Han might still be here.”

Leia pulled a chair over and sat in front of her, taking her hands.

“Oh, Jay…you were a scared teenager who just lost everything important to her. We can’t have regrets now, we can only focus on changing the future.”

“Why do you have to be so gracious all the time, Leia?” Jayda asked with a soft laugh. Leia reached up, wiping some of Jayda’s tears away.

“Because then I’d end up like your new friend, Poe. Set in my ways and stubborn.” Leia joked, looking over at Poe fondly. Then she turned her focus back to Jayda. “The world isn’t what I thought it was, Jayda. And it could use more graciousness.”

“Well, I better go invite Ben for a talk. How do I get the strongest signal out?”

Hours after sending the message, she got a direct transmission to her ship that said one thing.

 _Tomorrow._  
  
* * *

Jayda said her goodbyes and took off in her ship to Cibar. Her heart was racing wildly which translated to the slightest unease in her piloting. Every once in a while, her hand quivered when switching the controls. So meditating while piloting to ease her anxiety wasn’t exactly a simple task.

He was already waiting when she got there, standing in front of a black tie fighter. But it wasn’t _him_. Not really. He wore that stupid mask that Kylo Ren was renowned for.

“Jayda.” His voice was electronic and obnoxiously deep.

“If you don’t remove that stupid mask, I’m getting back in my ship and going to the other side of the galaxy,” Jayda warned, clutching her fists tightly. She tried not to be afraid of him like this. Like the monster that he was supposed to be. The request was fulfilled without hesitation on his part and his helmet ended up carelessly on the ground.

A healing scar ran the length of his face. His mature, still handsome face. She wanted to hug him tightly, yell at him or punch him in the face. But nothing came out of her mouth and her body didn’t even twitch as she stared at him.

“You called me here. Why?”

“Your mother.”

“Then we’re done here.” He picked up his helmet and turned on the heel of his foot. Jayda ignited her saber and threw it at him. Just like she expected, he caught it midair with the help of the Force, albeit slightly alarmed that she’d gone through with it. Kylo Ren turned off the lightsaber and examined it in his hand, the familiarity of it. He threw it back towards her, though he did not ignite it.

“We’re done when I say we’re done, Ben.”

“Ben is DEAD. He died when his uncle tried to kill him!”

“Then why do I own a letter from him, dated one week after his supposed death? A letter asking me to go with him?”

“Because Ben was weak. He loved a girl who didn’t care to show up when he thought he needed her.” Then Kylo Ren returned to walking back to his tie fighter. Jayda’s lower lip quivered at the sudden confession. She wanted to scream at him for it but she had to focus. She wasn’t here for herself.

“The only weak person I see is Kylo Ren.”

Jayda’s words were the perfect catalyst. Kylo Ren ignited his lightsaber and attacked her. Red clashed against purple but their fighting styles weren’t dissimilar, not unlike the colours of their lightsabers. They both fought with heat, anger, passion. Years and years of suppressed emotions and feelings of anger, betrayal, loss.

Soon, Kylo Ren had locked her in a deadly position. Though she was afraid, fairly certain that he could and would kill her, she had to show strength and had to have faith in who he’d been.

“Kill me, Ben. If you want to be Kylo Ren, you’ll have to kill me because I’ll never stop fighting for you. For that light inside that you try to kill. I’ve been recruited to this war and you know me. I fight to win.”

“If I see you again, I might not grant you this mercy,” Kylo muttered, lowering his lightsaber but not before slicing a wound into her non-dominant arm. He stalked off, picking his helmet off the ground and getting into his tie fighter. Jayda watched as she summoned her lightsaber with the Force.

Her breathing was ragged, shocked of what she’d just gone through. He was different, sure but not entirely. Her best friend was still there.

Ben Solo was still there.


End file.
